Thinking too much makes your head painful
by Naliyu
Summary: A drabble series which will update only when motivated. Will be marked as completed.
1. Optimistic people live longer

Disclaimer: Gintama belongs to Sorachi-sensei.

The first 2 chapters are on Gintoki's thoughts during episode 314.

* * *

"Your sword..."

Yoshida Shouyou, a man, a kind man who took him in, cared for him, taught him kendo and bushido, his way of life, living and of course, his father figure in life, flashed before Gintoki eyes, as he recounted that memory.

"Cannot reach me."

Before getting replaced by Utsuro, his sword style, his smile, all showed resemblance of Shouyou-sensei and it made Gintoki _waver_.

Because a small flame of hope, fueled by the belief that seeing is believing, was ignited that _Shouyou-sensei could be alive._

It was a case where his head said no but his heart said yes.

( _There's no way_

 _Is there?_ )

But of course reality had to make it so that his sensei was going to kill him, with Ichigo's Tensa Zangetsu, of all things.

He stares at his evil doppelganger teacher, as Utsuro swings the sword at his neck, thinking that it's fine that he's going to die by his teacher, since Gintoki killed him.

The cup is half-empty now.

"GIN-CHAAAAAAAAN!"

The water in the cup _ripples_.

A voice, Kagura's voice, screamed into his ears, his very _soul_ , praying, _begging_ him to wake up from the past and

 _to not die.  
_  
He woke up.

No longer stuck in the past, ( _because there's no way is that... that monster Shouyou-sensei_ ) he caught the sword that he vaguely noted was from Sougo, who immobilized Utsuro's other arm, thanked Sougo and Kagura in his mind and finally stood firm in the belief that he should, no, **need to** move on

 _because Shoyo-sensei is_ _ **not**_ _here anymore_

 _ **and**_

 _because he has found friends who supported and will support him through thick and thin.  
_  
Ah, not friends,

 _ **Family**_.

The cup is half-full now.

"My sword may not reach you but our swords will."

He took in a breath,

"Be gone, specter."

And swung his steel sword down firmly, onto Utsuro's shoulder before picking up his bokuto, _his new life and future,_ and swung both swords firmly at _the specter of his past_ , sending Utsuro flying.

 _[end]_

* * *

 **A/N time!**

 **Yu: some things to note here is that please remember that this was before all the revealing stuff and shit, literally due to the latest chapter 600, has not happened yet. This might continue for maybe another chapter and then I will need your help in some suggestions.**

 **Um... the father figure idea was from I Dream of Halcyon Days by kuroishuuha. Go check it out!**

 **The whole "cup is half full/empty" is related to some optimistic and pessimistic theory(?) thing and so is the title.**

 **Please do not ask for updates as the rest of the fics our account Naliyu has written so far will not update so quickly or frequently, unfortunately. I apologize for that.**

 **Thanks for reading the author's note if you bothered to. And kindly leave a suggestion or a review. It would be nice. Thank you once again. :) have a good day/night!**

 **Li: I really have nothing to say because Yu has said most of the things but I sincerely apologise for not updating the other fanfiction regularly.**

 **Also, if you have any comments, please leave a review! Any ideas improvements we could make or what you thought of this fanfiction is greatly appreciated! Reviews are motivations!**

 **Thank you for reading and hopefully enjoying this.**


	2. Thinking of the past and future hurts

Chapter 2.

Full chapter title: Thinking of the past and future hurts too so think about now and food and sleep instead.

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own Gintama. :(

A continuation from chapter 1.

"Shiro Yasha, no matter how many times you cut him down, you can't escape, the karma you took upon yourself that day."

 _A_ _ **fucking arm**_ _pops out from the ground._

"So long as you defy the heavens, "

And Utsuro stands up, unharmed with smoke rising from _what was supposed to be a huge bloody gash on his goddamn shoulder._

"you're fated to keep killing that man."

And then Gintoki is dragged back into the thrice-damned past of his again, where he can hear Takasugi's screams of _No! Gintoki! Stop!_ And Katsura's silence of _pain_ guilt _regret_ and _ifonlyihadbeenstronger._

And of course, Shouyou-sensei's _thank you._

Ha. Thank him? For what? Killing him?

 _(For protecting everyone of course.)_

But Gintoki felt a sense of relief then, a drop of tear rolled down his face, which he couldn't stop, after watching their sensei's head fly.

Maybe it was because he managed to fulfill a promise.

( _protect everyone, Gintoki, Shouyou-sensei said under the moonlight with fire crackling in the background as their school, Shoka Sonjuku_ _ **burned**_ _. Both of them put out a pinky and promised.)_

Maybe it was because he didn't manage to fulfill a promise.

( _Gintoki, if I die, take care of Sensei. Two good-for-nothings, back-to-back in a battlefield, with an endless number of Amanto around them.)_

Maybe it was because of the weight lifting from his shoulders that he did not have to feel any regret from killing his sensei because he said thank you.

And well, obviously some had to come from killing his sensei.

 _(The one who found him in that corpse-filled battlefield with crows and dead bodies as his only companions and took care of him.)_

Gintoki wasn't sure.

"His wounds…" Sougo breathed out.

 _Utsuro turns out to be immortal because_ _ **why the fuck not.**_

"Like I said, your sword cannot cut me."

 _CRASH! BOOM!_

Gintoki watched, pulled out of his thoughts with shock clear on his face, as Utsuro walked out calmly from the ship which had _fucking crashed onto him_ and in all means, _shouldn't be alive._

 _Oh yea. He's immortal._

Ah, he remembered that Utsuro had a similar face when he had slashed his shoulder just now.

Only plain acceptance.

His thoughts must've been along the lines of _oh there's blood coming out of that. Hm._

 _Duh. Most likely because he's immortal_ _ **.**_

What the hell.

"Danna! We won't be able to last longer!" Shouted Sougo.

Gintoki agreed since they wouldn't be able to last against _a freaking immortal with his sensei's abilities and freaking face, who_ _ **might fucking actually**_ _be him._

The world is _so_ screwed up.

And so, while running, Gintoki screams "Just who… WHO THE HELL IS THAT?"

 _Because really, he needs to know dammit._

But Nobume replies with "That is someone who is Shoyo and not Shoyo at the same time. But one thing is for sure.

You are not the one who killed Shoyo,

It was him."

 _And it just leaves Gintoki with more questions and no answers._

 _[end]_

 _ **Yu**_ **: Aww yea. We done for now. So if you have any suggestions as to what other episodes/chapters you want me to do, you can leave a review yay.**

 _ **Li:**_ **^ and tell us what you think about this chapter! Thanks for reading and I hoped you liked it. Yu had a headache thinking this up.**

 _ **Yu:**_ **haha the chapter title might have been "thinking of a chapter title makes your head hurt too."**


	3. Peace

Some stuff to note: Modern AU… sort of?

* * *

The war veteran wakes up with a start, once again dreaming of the sound of guns firing, bombs exploding, people crying out (in anguish and pain and for courage and _revenge_ ).

Basically, the war he fought in.

It was a nightmare, one where he was fighting, punching and kicking and shooting, _fighting_ _to survive,_ dodging and blocking against- did it really matter who they were fighting against?

Because, really, on the battlefield, the winners can at least console themselves by counting what they have left while the defeated can only count what they have lost.

Because, everyone has a home they can go back to and the defeated, the _dead, cannot._ People crying over their loved ones, lost to a horrible, horrible, meaningless war, while others celebrate, for their loved ones had come back and survived by _killing other's loved ones._

All because of a war and their different beliefs, which caused people to fight for different sides.

What was the meaning of war, if all his friends were _livingfightingdead_ at the end of it all? What was the point of war if afterwards all that was left corpses and destroyed battlefields, which may once had been a village, a home, for the

civilians who were innocent?

At the end of the nightmare, before he woke up, he was searching through corpses, to find if anyone was alive and breathing.

He had found one then, one of the nameless soldiers in the troop under him, but nooooooo, he died while he was carrying him, all the while whispering ( _or was he shouting?_ ) to him, (or was he saying it for himself?) to _don't give up_ and _hang in there, you will be alright soon!_

But then, he, no, his _corpse,_ he realized, whispered back "You can't protect anyone." And there were voices all around him, the corpses, he noted duly, whispered the same thing to him. He ignored them because he had to get him to treatment _fastnowpleasedontdie._

A corpse then pulled his leg, which caused him to trip and he was _fallingfallingfalling_ into a dark abyss and-

He shot up, cold sweat flowing down his face, panting loudly, nearly to the point of hyperventilation before realizing that it was just a nightmare.

He stared at the bedsheets, mind empty with the only thoughts being _it's that nightmare again._

Seeing as he cannot fall back to sleep, he got off his bed and went to pour himself a cup of water in the kitchen of his rented apartment.

He was lucky, kind of, that on the verge of death after the war, when he thought all was lost, an old lady, who is now his current landlady, nursed him back to health. He had sworn back then, to repay the debt by protecting her life.

Well, paying rent was a whole other case.

Currently, he is working as the boss of Yorozuya Gin-chan. Suffice to say, he cannot pay rent nor his two employees.

And he spends it all on lottery and alcohol and Shounen Jump anyways. already

What a great boss he is.

But it is weird, that even though he does not pay his employees or rent, they do not leave him and nor does he get kicked out.

Ah well, a lot of things has happened since he started his business as well as living here and maybe, just maybe, he grew on them. Or did they grow on him?

Whatever the case, he smiles as he pours himself a cup of water, he will protect them because the weight on his back wasn't as heavy as before. It seems that this weight could even protect _him_ at times.

Would his teacher be proud of him now, now that he has so many people he can count on?

He drinks silently, deep in his thoughts to the point where he didn't notice his other apartment-mate's presence until she called his name.

"Gin-chan, you can't sleep-aru?" A 14-year old redheaded girl asks drowsily, rubbing her eyes followed by yawning with her mouth open.

He grunted a response, walking back to his room, patting her head on his way.

"You should go back to sleep too." He says before stretching and closing the door to his room.

He falls asleep after tossing and turning for a while.

* * *

The next morning shines too bright and early for him and he glares at the ceiling before hearing his other employee calling his name.

Yes, the red-headed girl is one of the two employees under him. Whatever you do, do not underestimate her petite size. She can pack a hard punch well, due to her having a black belt in karate.

More than often not, he is her punching bag. Those times however, he deserves it for spending their hard-earned money on lotteries so it sort of evens out.

He quickly brushes his teeth before changing into a pair of black jeans, a black collared t-shirt with a red outline and a long-sleeved jacket with white and blue wave patterns on it.

He then strolls into the living room of his rented apartment, where his employees were waiting for him.

"Good morning, Gin-san." A black haired boy with glasses greets him.

"Hey Gin-chan, I'm starving!" The red haired girl complains, cradling a white dog in her arms which barks at her.

Ah, he had forgotten that it was his turn to cook breakfast today. He waves back at them and heads to the kitchen to make it.

The black haired boy, Shinpachi was a drop out, due to his father who left them with a dojo and debts. He did leave them some money as well as insurance but it all got used up so he and his sister are both drop outs who are working.

Shinpachi met him in a restaurant, where he was being bullied by the manager. He saved him but then made him the scapegoat of the incident due to the manager calling the police.

Shinpachi's sister then found out that her younger brother got kicked out from his job by a silver permed hair guy and threatened him for compensation.

However, while doing so, a debt collector came by and she was sent to a cabaret due to the debt rising.

One look at Shinpachi's face when he looked at his sister made him decide quickly what the best choice was. They saved his sister and the incident cemented Shinpachi as his employee.

The red haired girl, Kagura, was a traveller. She studies via online due to her father being a big shot out there. She then travelled here, where she got lost and had to join a gang to feed herself as well as Sadaharu, her pet dog by fighting for them.

Shinpachi and him met her while driving his motorcycle, through an accident. Even though she got hit, she recovered within minutes and was even able to fight off the enemies chasing after her using an _umbrella_ which could deflect and shoot bullets.

She proudly shows it off after she got recruited by threatening them, explaining that it was a gift from her father with the latest technology. Her goal was to earn enough money to continue traveling but she ended up staying with them even after her father found her.

Ah. How nostalgic. How long ago did all these happen? What with their daily comedic routine; it made it seem like the war he took part in didn't even exist.

Was the result of the chaotic war this peace?

He expertly flips an egg onto a plate and switches off the fire after he was done, serving his protégés breakfast.

Friendly banter was exchanged between the three of them and he smiles inwardly at how peaceful it all is.

 _[end]_

* * *

 **A/N Time!**

 _ **Yu**_ **: Yo readers! This was actually a draft for a topic named Peace hahaha but then it got too influenced by Gintama so I thought that I could post it in fanfiction yay.**

 **I'm still working on ASCG2W opps and yay for the new cover made by myself. Hehe, self-praise. It would be nice if anyone reading this is motivated because you can pm me some ideas! Yea I'm asking you readers for help ;_; it would be nice. Thank you.**


End file.
